Now and Later
by Leftomaniac
Summary: Fluff. Ever wonder what becomes of Jhonen and his characters in the future?


Just another little fluff between chapters. No own. No one knows what the future will hold, but then again, no one knows what's in yogurt, and that doesn't stop people from eating it. Bet you didn't know that in the future they have time traveling e-mail, eh?  
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While routinely checking your e-mail, you gasp as you see the address on one of them: organizm@earthlink.net. Being the wise little fangirl you are, you know that can only mean one thing... You just got an e-mail from the Almighty Coolest, Jhonen the Wonderboy! Hurriedly you open it, and read the following:  
  
~~~  
  
Hi there, my scary fans. You might have wondered, at one point or another what will happen to your beloved characters years from now. I know your mind, don't try to deny it. So, being the nice Jhonen that I am, I'm going to share with you this Spooky Message From the Future ... of DOOM! *Insert echo effect*  
  
Zim will give up on his goal of becoming Lord of All Humans and settle for becoming Lord of All Squirrels, declaring that they are the more intelligent species anyway. He will lead several very unsuccessful Squirrel Rebellions, before finally taking over the world in 2029. Unfortunately, one week after coming into power, all his armies will die as a result of a disease that makes squirrels eyes explode out of their heads, making them blind and dead, called blinddeadsquirrelness. He is currently working on becoming Lord of All Tadpoles.  
  
Dib will make it into paranormal investigators skool, but lose any respect and credibility he once had when he tries to warn everyone about the squirrels. When Zim finally DOES take over the world, he will be showered with fame and admiration, but he'll let it go to his head and become corrupt. Now, he is far to busy accepting bribes and signing autographs to focus attention on Zim and his Tadpoles of Doom, or anything else, really.  
  
Nny will continue his current ... lifestyle, but find it gets harder as he ages. (You ever try to stab someone to death while nearsighted?)  
  
Prof. Membrane will invent such wonderful aids to humanity as the Toenail Remover, the Tire Polisher, and a reinvention of the salad bowl. Anticipating Zim's next move, he's trying to invent blinddeadtadpoleness, but so far all it's done is make him blind and dead.  
  
Gaz will become a professional game tester, and later a professional game designer. She is now one of the top, most sought-after designers in the country. One of the aliens in her newly released game, Pow Pow Kasplodie looks suspiciously like Zim. Interpret it how you will.  
  
Iggins was in stiff competition with Gaz for top game designer, until he sold out in 2021. He now is Nickelodian's top game designer, making games that are clean, wholesome, and entertainment-free.  
  
Fillerbunny will continue to go through levels of unimaginable hellish pain the likes of which none can imagine, before succumbing to blinddeadfillerbunnyness in 2014. (It's for the best, folks.)  
  
Miss Bitters will continue to be Miss Bitters. GIR will be made into a popular doll, and receive worldwide fame. After dealing with 999,000,000 screaming fangirls even HE got tired of hugging. He currently owns a pig farm in Nebraska, where Zim visits him often. He has never been happier.   
  
Keef, whose head trauma caused him to forget he was Zim's bestest friend, got a summer job at MacMeaties in 2008. He's thiiiiis close to a promotion now.  
  
Devi will, coincidentally, do the art on the packages of both Gaz's games and GIR's doll, before breaking into the galleries in 2018. She was featured in several small, independent galleries, making very little, until her reclusive nature attracts the attention of a newspaper reporter. He will write an unauthorized biography about her, detailing dozens of explicit scandals and affairs. None of it is true, of course, but it will be at the top of the bestseller list for over three months. An angered Devi will receive 89% of the revenue in a lawsuit. She now owns an island in the Bahamas, where she can be *alone.*  
  
Red and Purple will remain the mighty leaders of Irk through eleven rebellions, six plagues, twelve attacks by flying rabid pirahanas, and nine amnesia rays. They are happy about it.  
  
Tenna, who will be Devi's lawyer in her trial against the reporter, will be forced to give up caffeine when the doctor informs her that if she continues her current rate of consumption, her heart will explode. She will sleep for a week and a half straight, then return to her usual self. She will marry GIR, and live with him on his pig farm. She is now expecting a daughter, who she plans to name Spooky. I have no idea how *that* worked out.  
  
The moose is fine. All hail the moose.  
  
As for me, I'm putting myself into suspended animation until the havoc I've wreaked on the world dies down. So long, suckers! 


End file.
